Are you in the 300 club?

The 300 club is for Plus sized, curvy etc. women that weigh over 300 lbs.

  • In the 300 club there is no room to criticize because we all are already our biggest critics
  • In the 300 Club it is often difficult to find love..in the right places – hummin Urban cowboy theme music-
  • In the 300 club it is even more difficult to find nice clothes that fit appropriately and look age appropriate!!!!
  • In the 300 club going to certain places to have fun and recreation is almost handicapping because the seats are not made for our hips and thighs!
  • In the 300 club everybody says our health is in dire straights and inquires if we want to be around for our families…dumb questions!!
  • In the 300 club our situations usually didn’t happen overnight but people expect us to work overnight to be who they think we should be- in a smaller frame!
  • In the 300 club 300 is not just a number its a scarlet letter er..number and  if you dont or never have worn it you dont understand it.
  • In the 300 club we walk slower because we have at least 200 more pounds to carry than the average chic..instead of staring help a sista out!!!!
  • In the 300 club our minds work out more than our bodies
  • In the 300 club membership is not free and to get out it costs you at least one pound….
  • over the last year and a half I went from being a member of the 300 club to being a member of the yoyo club.  Membership to the yoyo club is even more expensive because you dont know what size clothes to get!!!! Don’t join the yoyo club.  In the facebo0k picture above, I was at my highest weight with the shades on and my lowest with the flower.  I still have clothes form both eras.. I have learned over the years that I am enough and i dont have to prove anything to others.  So whether you are in the 300 club or the 100 club, the yoyo club or the fit club, it doesn’t matter what you do if you are doing it for others- it will NEVER be enough!!! Do it for you and realize that you are enough, be healthy and be happy!!!

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10 Signs to know if you have “big girl swag”?

“Big Girl Swag” is a way of life for women that are officially obese.  I dont care if you are morbidly obese, mildly obese or just feel like you are a little overweight. Being a big girl in this society requires you to have a positive image of yourself because if you dont who will?

Here are 10 signs to let you know if you have big girl swag.  If you have big girl swag everyone else will feel it exude from you.

  1.  You already know you have it!  no need to read the other 9!!!
  2.  You can dress up or down and still feel sexy, regardless of what others think.
  3. You love yourself first!!!!
  4. You can rock a pair of sweat pants or jeggings and still look cute!
  5. You are not overly confident about it but hey……..no one tells skinny girls not to be overly confident.
  6. You do work out or exercise to stay healthy.  Look at all my big girl swaggers on the pole and doing yoga..its amazing!!!
  7.  You embrace your flaws!
  8.  Did I already say you love yourself???!!!!
  9. You can look in the mirror and say you are fierce, you are unique, you are beautiful
  10. You can be you for you and be*you*tiful!!!!

If you dont feel you have big girl swag, go visit my GARDENOFEDENBOUTIQUEMS FB page and watch my video!!!

 

 

What is love???

 

What is love anyway?  Can you love without trust?  With spouses or significant others/ friends / family??

With Valentines Day around the corner, I have been thinking… I love everyone but I only trust God..sometimes we can’t even trust ourselves!!

I love God! I Love my kids! I love my boo!  I love my family!  I love life! I love my friends!  I love my job! I love… I say this all the time but what does it mean??  Is it possible to love everyone else and not be sure if you love yourself?  It was a hard long journey of learning to love me!!!! I learned that loving myself is one of the most exhilarating and fulfilling things in life!  As a survivor of abuse, trust, attachments, relationships, emotions, and more so LOVE become very confusing… As a child you grow up thinking if they loved me why did this happen?? I trusted them and this is what happened… They lied and they are the adult?  Who can I trust.. Who can I love?  Or even harder who can I trust to LOVE ME?  Relationships are such an integral part of life!  Is it possible to love and not trust??  I do!!! From MY EXPERIENCES I have learned to trust people to be people/ human born in imperfection and sin.  I do not give my trust as easily as I give my love.  I can love you even if you don’t love me back, I can love you and know you don’t have my best interest in mind, I can love you and not feel any other emotional connection.  BUT if I trust you…I trust you to treat me right, I trust you not to tell my secrets, I trust you to be there for me I trust you to be a friend, I trust you to understand me and my vulnerabilities- but not take advantage..So in the meantime I provide benefit-of-the-doubt and Love to everyone… I expect you to do whatever you are going to do.  I’m not perfect either.. Sometimes I don’t trust myself!!! But I love the heck out of ME!!!

Stay tuned for my next blog- “I’m no Angel!”

There are some things you will never understand!!! Stop trying!

10 things you will never understand

  1. How it feels to be plus size
  2. how it feels to be a single mother
  3. how it feels to never put yourself first
  4. What child abuse does for trust.
  5. what strong black woman really means
  6. How life is for a single black female with morals.
  7. how it feels to raise 2 boys alone!
  8. How it feels to chase your dreams but it never seems in reach
  9.  how it feels to not be able to be yourself because it’s not the norm
  10. How it feels to love so hard it hurts!

O

Smiling on the outside crying on the inside
Smiling on the outside crying on the inside.

Laat year this time I already mentioned the state of mind I was in… Then there was this night…… I literally acted a fool.  I did some research and showed up at a very meaningful event to pop up on my situation.  Although nothing was going on at the time, it was very foolish.  In that situation I went through and endured a lot of things.     I had been cheated on, verbally emotionally and physically abused.  I stayed and even acted like a dam fool.